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In Red Moon Passage, Bonnie Horrigan meets with spiritual anthropologist Angeles Arrien.
Here we share her beautiful take on menopause and an analogy of a woman's cycles as visiting 'the garden' a woman's true home, otherwise known as her authentic self. At menopause the garden becomes home, plus we get her vital take on the importance of reclaiming self. |
THE GARDEN BECOMES HOME
Earlier in her life, she comes and goes, but after the menopausal passage, a woman doesn’t leave the garden. That’s when the garden becomes her home. And she begins to build her own house there. Her true home. Her true nature. There is something that happens when you can no longer tolerate the false self. There is a freedom, an incredible freedom that comes as a result of leaving the false self and building a new home that really is connected to one’s interior nature, which is the garden.
For a woman who is truly in the garden, her children, her husband or lover, and her friends will all find her fascinating, interesting, deep, enchanting, magical. If she’s truly at home. If not, they will find her the witch. The witch is the woman who has not accepted that stage of development. She’s the one who is still looking to the outer to provide satisfaction.
A lot of dissatisfaction comes from not being able to befriend silence and solitude and the richness in that experience, and expecting the exterior to still provide. The young maiden loves the external. Women who are arrested in that stage, who are stuck in young maiden, need to go inward when it begins.
As I said, sacrifice is part of any rite of passage. I think for the menopausal woman, the sacrifice is that she needs to trust. Trust. She can’t control. She may feel out of control. And that’s why most women who have spent a lot of their life controlling situations have a roller-coaster ride during menopause, because they haven’t cultivated the garden of trust.
For a woman who is truly in the garden, her children, her husband or lover, and her friends will all find her fascinating, interesting, deep, enchanting, magical. If she’s truly at home. If not, they will find her the witch. The witch is the woman who has not accepted that stage of development. She’s the one who is still looking to the outer to provide satisfaction.
A lot of dissatisfaction comes from not being able to befriend silence and solitude and the richness in that experience, and expecting the exterior to still provide. The young maiden loves the external. Women who are arrested in that stage, who are stuck in young maiden, need to go inward when it begins.
As I said, sacrifice is part of any rite of passage. I think for the menopausal woman, the sacrifice is that she needs to trust. Trust. She can’t control. She may feel out of control. And that’s why most women who have spent a lot of their life controlling situations have a roller-coaster ride during menopause, because they haven’t cultivated the garden of trust.
RECLAIMING SELF
The body is an alchemical vessel. Menopause is a time of reclaiming who you were before puberty, before the experience of sexuality, and before the first time the hormones did their running through the body.
The finding of the girl one was before puberty might unfold like this: Before you come to the garden, there is a silver gate. There’s also a very beautiful silver bell with a silver cord that the blue jay will pull to announce each time someone is at the silver gate. And so the woman comes to the silver gate and there will be a young woman there.
The blue jay is the messenger because the blue jay has no problem giving voice. And one of the initiations into the feminine mystery is to stay connected to your voice and not lose your voice. For menopausal women in particular, if as a young maiden they have not been full in their voice, they will be required to do so in the passage. No one is exempt. Every woman has to be able to bring her voice into the world. That principle is deeply connected to the intuitive nature.
So a woman is told to go see the healing woman in the garden. And she will know that she has come to the garden when she’s found the silver gate and the blue jay rings the silver bell.
After she has her voice, and she’s reclaimed that person she was before puberty, the garden flourishes. It becomes the most beautiful garden in the world. It’s a place where people come for healing. It’s a place where they come for silence. And it’s a place where they gather for celebration.
It’s the sanctuary where you can always go. The place where you can visit at the talking well, where you can sit and talk, and where everything you have talked about has gone into the well. That’s why people throw pennies into the well, so that wishes can come true. All from the basis of those conversations that have taken place between women for centuries and how they have helped each other.
The finding of the girl one was before puberty might unfold like this: Before you come to the garden, there is a silver gate. There’s also a very beautiful silver bell with a silver cord that the blue jay will pull to announce each time someone is at the silver gate. And so the woman comes to the silver gate and there will be a young woman there.
The blue jay is the messenger because the blue jay has no problem giving voice. And one of the initiations into the feminine mystery is to stay connected to your voice and not lose your voice. For menopausal women in particular, if as a young maiden they have not been full in their voice, they will be required to do so in the passage. No one is exempt. Every woman has to be able to bring her voice into the world. That principle is deeply connected to the intuitive nature.
So a woman is told to go see the healing woman in the garden. And she will know that she has come to the garden when she’s found the silver gate and the blue jay rings the silver bell.
After she has her voice, and she’s reclaimed that person she was before puberty, the garden flourishes. It becomes the most beautiful garden in the world. It’s a place where people come for healing. It’s a place where they come for silence. And it’s a place where they gather for celebration.
It’s the sanctuary where you can always go. The place where you can visit at the talking well, where you can sit and talk, and where everything you have talked about has gone into the well. That’s why people throw pennies into the well, so that wishes can come true. All from the basis of those conversations that have taken place between women for centuries and how they have helped each other.
Reprinted with kind permission from Red Moon Passage by Bonnie J. Horrigan www.bonniehorrigan.com @BonnieHorrigan